Nonverbal Communication Nonverbal mistakes are often more difficult to a

游客2024-01-02  7

问题     Nonverbal Communication
    Nonverbal mistakes are often more difficult to avoid than verbal ones. For example, the amount of appropriate eye contact varies according to the country. When negotiating with the Japanese, I have learned to use intermittent eye contact across the bargaining table rather than staring directly. Southeast Asians also find an intense gaze unpleasant. During my first week on assignment in Singapore, my secretary nervously asked me, " Boss, why do you always look at us so fiercely?" While you may learn to use an indirect gaze in East and Southeast Asia, you have to unlearn that lesson when doing business in the Mediterranean region, West Asia, and Latin America. These expressive people believe to demonstrate interest in the "windows of the soul. " They want to look you in the eye to demonstrate interest in the discussion and to show that they are honest and sincere. If you use indirect eye contact, you may be regarded as insincere—perhaps even dishonest.
    Appropriate eye contact is also important socially. In the U. S. , people generally look straight ahead while walking side-by-side with a friend. But in the more expressive societies of southern Europe, such behavior will be considered cold and impersonal. In those countries, people prefer to read your eyes and facial expressions as they talk to you.
    Another important consideration is being sensitive of people’s personal space, which varies according to the culture. For example, two U. S. businessmen meeting for the first time will stand about an arm’s length apart while two Arab men may stand almost face-to-face. For West Asians, being kept "at arm’s length" signals unfriendliness.
    Another variable aspect of body language is touch behavior, which differs greatly even between such close neighbors as the British and the French. Researchers recently videotaped couples in Paris and London cafes and counted the number of times touched each other in one hour. They recorded an average of about 100 touches per hour in Paris and no touching at all in London.

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答案     非言语交际
    非言语交际中出现的错误往往比言语交际中的错误难避免。比如说,会谈时目光交流多少次才是恰当的,在不同国家就差别很大。和日本人谈判时,我学会了在谈判桌上要不时地与对方的目光错开,不能一直盯着对方。东南亚人也对直视感到不舒服。我刚到新加坡工作的第一周,我的秘书就紧张地问我:“老板,你为什么老是那么严厉地盯着我们?”在东亚和东南亚要学会不去直视对方,而在地中海地区、西亚和拉丁美洲谈生意时,你就得故意忘掉这些。这些感情外露的人把眼睛当作“心灵的窗户”。在交谈中,他们直视你以表示他们对谈话感兴趣,还表示诚实和真诚。如果你不直视对方,你就会被认为是不真诚——甚至是不诚实的。
    恰当的目光交流对社会交往也是很重要的。在美国,当人们和朋友肩并肩地行走时,目光通常是向前看的。但在感情丰富的南欧人看来,这种行为会被认为是冷酷和不近人情的。在这些地区,人们更喜欢在交谈时读懂你目光和面部表情中透露的含义。
    另外一个重要的方面是注意谈话人之间的距离。这也因文化的不同而不同。比如,两个美国商人第一次见面时保持一个手臂长度的距离,而两个阿拉伯人首次见面就几乎是脸对着脸。对西亚人来说,“保持一臂的距离”是不友好的表示。
    另一个形体语言的不同是人们之间的触摸方式,这种行为像英法这样的近邻之间差异都很大。研究人员最近对在巴黎和伦敦咖啡馆中的情侣们摄像,并数了他们在一个小时中相互触摸的次数。记录显示,在巴黎平均一小时触摸100次左右,而在伦敦,一次都没有。

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