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It never occurred to him that he and his doing were not of the most intense
It never occurred to him that he and his doing were not of the most intense
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2023-12-25
5
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It never occurred to him that he and his doing were not of the most intense and fascinating interest to anyone with whom he came in contact. He had theories about almost any subject under the sun, including vegetarianism, the drama, politics, and music; and in support of these theories he wrote pamphlets, letters, books.., thousands upon thousands of words, hundreds and hundreds of pages. He not only wrote these things, and published them—usually at somebody else’s expense—but he would sit and read them aloud, for hours, to his friends and his family.
He had the emotional stability of a six-year-old child. When he felt out of sorts, he would rave and stamp, or sink into suicidal gloom and talk darkly of going to the East to end his days as a Buddhist monk. Ten minutes later, when something pleased him, he would rush out of doors and run around the garden, or jump up and down on the sofa, or stand on his head.
He was almost innocent of any sense of responsibility. Not only did he seem incapable of supporting himself, but it never【C1】________to him that he was under any obligation to do so. He was convinced that the【C2】________owed him a living. In support of this belief, he borrowed【C3】________from everybody who was good for a loan—men, women, friends, or【C4】________. He wrote begging letters by the score, sometimes groveling【C5】________shame, at others loftily offering his intended benefactor the privilege of【C6】________to his support, and being mortally offended if the recipient declined the【C7】________. I have found no record of his ever paying or repaying money to【C8】________who did not have a legal claim upon it.
The name of this monster was Richard Wagner. Everything that I have said about him you can find【C9】________record: in newspapers, in police reports, in the testimony of people who knew him, in his own letters,【C10】________the lines of his autobiography. And the curious thing about this record is【C11】________it doesn’t matter in the least. Because this undersized, sickly,【C12】________, fascinating little man was right all the time. The joke was【C13】________us. He was one of the world’s greatest dramatists; he was a great【C14】________; he was one of the most stupendous musical geniuses that, up to now, the world has【C15】________seen. The world did owe him a living.
When you consider what he wrote: thirteen operas and【C16】________dramas, eleven of them still holding the stage, eight of them unquestionably【C17】________ranking among the world’s great musical-dramatic masterpieces: when you listen to【C18】________he wrote, the debts and heartaches that people had to endure from him don’t【C19】________much of a price. Think of the luxury with which for a time, at least, fate【C20】________Napoleon, the man who ruined France and looted Europe; and then【C21】________you will agree that a few thousand dollars" worth of debts were not too【C22】________a price to pay for the Ring trilogy.
Listening to his music, one does not forgive him for what he【C23】________or may not have been. It is not a matter of forgiveness. It is a【C24】________of being dumb with wonder that his poor brain and body didn’t burst【C25】________the torment of the demon of creative energy that lived inside him,【C26】________, clawing, scratching to be released; tearing, shrieking at him to【C27】________the music that was in him. The miracle is that what he did in the little【C28】________of seventy years could have been done at all, even by a great【C29】________. Is it 【C30】________ wonder that he had no time to be a man? [br] 【C26】
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struggling
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